Behind These Walls
by HyperPixiexoxo
Summary: Leah... the girl that everyone finds intolerable and difficult to understand... this is an insight of her life. She's not who she appears to be... Oneshot.


**A/N: I know that I should REALLY stop writing new stories and stuff, but this had been stuck in my head while I was taking my state exam and as soon as it was over, I wrote it down… too bad it was my math state exam :-/. Here it is… my first shot at a one-shot… or it's going to be a one-shot…. For now. Depends on what my readers (if I happen to get any) think.**

**

* * *

Leah's POV**

_*Flashback*_

"_Leah" Sam said as he called after me. "Leah, wait up!"_

_I stopped and turned around to face him. "Why, why'd you do this to me? Why with my own __**cousin, my own blood**__?" _

"_Leah, if you'd just listen to me," he started, but I cut him off. _

"_I __**know**_ _imprinted on Emily, okay? I know that, I heard you talking about it with the elders! Yet you still consider imprinting a fucking __**gift**__! I don't understand what the fuck is going on in your head." I said, my temper flaring._

"_Leah" he said calmly, his eyes full of pain. "You know it didn't happen like that."_

_I stood there staring at him, "You act as if this was nothing! Like you and I were never anything. Like there was nothing between us. You know you could've stopped the pain, all this hurt!" I shouted at him. "Yet you never did, all you gave me were false hopes and expectations. It's not fair Sam! It's not!"_

"_Leah," he whispered sounding broken. I was torn, I hated to see him hurting but after everything he did to me, I didn't know what to do. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "You'll find someone who'll make you happy in your life."_

_I stared at him before turning around and walking away. "It's your choice" I whispered. As I said that, I began to run away from La Push. I couldn't stand it here, not anymore._

"_Why?!" I screamed as I hit the floor. "Why did you do this to me? Why?" and I began to cry uncontrollably._

_*end of flashback*_

I woke up panting, with tears on my face. I furiously wiped the tears away from my face. "Look what you've done to me" I whispered into the darkness.

No one understood me. Not the pack, not my mom, not even Seth, no one did. No one seemed to care enough to look behind the bitchy girl that I had become. The old Leah was still in there somewhere, I knew she was. But nobody could see that I only put up all those walls to save myself from more pain. I had lost my first love, my first everything, to my own fucking _cousin._ And to make life even more complicated, I was the first _female_ wolf in the history of our tribe.

I refused to let anyone see me weak, broken, and vulnerable. Yet, I wished that someone would notice that I cry often, that all I want is for this to be a nightmare and that I could wake up. Then, Sam and I would've gotten married and had lots of kids like we had planned to. I was a 3rd wheel everywhere. Sam had Emily. My mom had Charlie; the members of the pack had each other. I was an outcast everywhere.

I knew that behind that bitchy attitude and all those walls that I put up, I was still there. _Leah_ was still there. _Leah_ was just afraid of getting hurt again. I swore to myself the day I would _never_ fall in love again. It hurt too much to have to let go of the one that you love. It hurts to know that they don't love you the way you love them. I wanted to feel something, anything. _Pain, make your way to me, I'll always be so inviting. _ If feeling pain meant that I could actually feel something, then so be it.

I got out of bed and went into my bathroom. I stood in front of mirror staring at myself. _Who is that girl I see? Staring straight back at me? When will my reflection shine, who I am inside?_ I was a stranger to myself. I used to freak out when I didn't wear a matching outfit, I was one of the most popular girls in school.

I sunk down onto the bathroom floor and began to cry. I had done this to myself, for the past few months, I had tried to blame my unhappiness on Sam, Emily, my dad's death, on everyone and everything, but never myself. I could've let others help me, but was too terrified that I'd get hurt yet again.

I got up from the floor and walked back into my bedroom. I took out my make-up, my flats, and went to the back of my closet to take out one of the skirts I had bought just before the break up, along with a cute new shirt. I quickly put on my mascara and eye liner. I slipped my clothes on, added a touch of lip gloss, grabbed my purse, looked at myself in the mirror one more time and walked out of my room.

I took a deep breath before walking down the stairs. All our family friends were here and all eyes were on me as I walked down the stairs. I felt self-conscious. Seth was the first to speak. "Leah- wow, um, Leah. You look great" he said as he shot me a smile.

"Thanks" I said smiling at him; it felt so good to actually be able to smile. My mother smiled at me and pulled me into a hug. I could feel myself tearing up but stopped myself. "Make-up" I mouthed at my mom. She laughed at me.

"It's good to have you back Leah" she said smiling down at me.

I knew I wasn't fully recovered. I still wasn't _Leah_, but I was on my way to being _Leah_ again. I was still broken, but I allowed myself to see that _I_ was the one causing my unhappiness. I was slowly going to start the ones that I loved, back into my life.

**

* * *

A/N: I'm so excited to hear what you have to think. Should it stay a one-shot or should I develop into a story (although it'll be a short story). The way I wrote Leah, was based on me. Not the whole heart break dilemma, but the fact that she has all these walls put up… I kinda realized this and I felt that Leah, was probably the only one who went through so much crap… so please review :D**


End file.
